Yay and Stuff

So my doctor, who is a lovely woman by the way (aka she listens well), said that I have fibro blah blah blah in my boobies caused from too much estrogen in my system. She took me off my estrogen and sent me straight to the lab for a thyroid test so she can up my thyroid meds because I'm still gaining weight because my thyroid is retarded. Let me say this, the nurse that took my blood was horrid because she jabbed my arm and now i'm bruised. That was the worst blood stick ever. She should go back to school. I'm also on a diet of protein, low carb, and no good stuff. I've got a lot of water retention from the estrogen in my system so once it exits my system some of the weight should come off fairly easy. I might have a chance for my dad to walk me down the aisle instead of roll me. We'll see.

I'm ready for the storms for the next couple of days but pissed that we have a chance for snow Saturday. I guess Grace won't have practice and we will be stuck at the house all weekend. Winter really sucks.

Today is the day

Today is the day that I go to the doctor appointment that all women hope they never have to schedule but most women do. Today I go to the doctor to get the lovely painful lumps in my breasts checked out. I know that it will probably be nothing but I do have to remind myself that I do not have a normal body. I am blessed with a low immune system, hypothyroidism, and various symptoms of lupus that haven't been able to be controlled quite yet.

I'm a little nervous but more than anything I just want the doctor to listen to me when I tell her that my body feels not quite right and I want her to fix it. I don't believe that my estrogen or thyroid meds are working and I hope she ups the dosage of both. I can still feel the endometriosis on the ovary the doctors so generously left me. I'm not so worried about that though. It's a pain I'm used to and can deal with most of the time. I've got to remember to ask for a referral for the pain management doctor. My back is just getting worse and I'm sorry but telling a patient with hypothyroidism to lose weight and then come back for a disc that is pinching a nerve in the back is ludicrous and stupid! If I could lose the weight easily buddy don't you think I would?? I'll just walk around in complete pain until I miraculously lose the weight. Such a Catch 22 and doctors are idiots most of the time. Amazing that i want to work for one.

Anyhow, even though my body is retarded I have faith that my primary doctor will fix whatever is making me feel funky all the time and tell me that my lumps in my breasts are just another lovely side effect from some hormonal imbalance somewhere. I'm glad I shaved my legs last night. At least i have a hairless body for the exam.

Clarification LOL

NO. I am not married yet. I just didn't want to take the time to have to remember to change my last name when I do get married in October. :)

Finally!

I finally created a blog that isn't a part of Myspace or Facebook. That is just mine and I can control who knows the address to the blog. Jeremy said I should start journaling again and I agree so I have chosen to journal this way. Uninhibited and unfiltered is how I choose to write this. I don't want to worry about stepping on anyone's toes or hurting anyone's feelings. When I'm mad at Jeremy I want to be able to express it without being labeled a bad wife.. When I am fed up with my children I want to be able to express it without being labeled a bad mother. I want to be able to vent my true feelings about something without being bashed for it. We all know feelings change as much as the wind and everything is situational.