Ok I Fold

Ok this is definitely a vent blog if there ever was one. First off, my mother started off my weekend with a bang by purposely lying to me to keep me away from her house. She has it in her head that I'm going to cause issues with one of my stepsisters because I've been so cruel and rude to her at their house before...thats sarcasm just in case some people are wondering. Did it ever occcur to my mother that I might want to see my other sisters? I'm always nice and cordial to everyone when we go out there. I'm waiting on an apology from my mother. She owes me one for lying to me. My stepfather has already sent his apologies. My mother just has a hard time admitting she is wrong about anything. It's so hard for her to act like a mother. I really don't even know what it is supposed to feel like to have a motherly figure. I guess my closest thing to a motherly figure that I have right now is my mother-in-law. That's really sad since I've had like 10 stepmothers. Anyway, enough about that. It makes me ill.

I love Jeremy. I know he loves me. I know he is my soulmate and we are going to be together forever. But he just doesn't listen!!! I can't even count on my two hands how many times this weekend he would ask me a question about something after I had just told him 5 minutes before. And when something is bothering me, he doesn't make effort to talk about it. He sits silently in his recliner, watching tv, letting the problem sit and sit and sit until I've had enough silence and can't stand to be in the same room any longer. Then 2 hours later, he wants to talk about it when I've gone to bed. You know, if he would address the problem right then I might not be so angry later on!! If maybe he paid attention to what I was saying, how I was acting, questions I ask him...he might figure out that we might have a problem! And the problem is that he has stopped looking at me...he just stares right through me...and loses all ability to communicate with me below surface level. And the way he tries to hide conversations...not letting me know what has been said between he and his ex-wife about plans for the girls, times, places...i have to twist it out of him and even then I get barely any detail. Here's a news flash! I'm going to be your wife! I need details of conversations so I know whats going on, whats being said, and how I need to plan! I deserve to know what is being talked about. The less I know and the harder I have to pry, the more suspiscious I will be.